Sleeping on the Train

People may wonder why I talk about the train so much.
I spend 40 minutes a day on the train so I do talk about it a little.
One thing that stresses me out is when people sleep on the train.
I am not talking about snoozing. I am talking about full on drooling, snoring, head nodding slumber.
Of course, I have been known to snooze on the train from time to time.
I just make sure I don't get too comfortable.
I can never forget I am in close quarters with a bunch of strangers.
Who knows? Someone could steal my bag or worse yet, draw a mustache on me or something.
So, there is the personal safety issue.
But that is not my biggest concern.
You can blame my real source of stress on the Kingston Trio.
When I was a kid my parents used to listen to their greatest hits on a regular basis.
One of the songs was about a guy who could not get off the train.
Some of the lyrics went something like "no, he never returned. No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned. He will ride forever through the streets of London. He is the man who never returned".
Horrifying.
Now to be fair, in this case the man was not sleeping. He could not pay his fare to get off the train.
I often wondered why he didn't just jump out the window when the train stopped at a station or something.
Hey, I was a kid. I didn't know you don't usually pay your fare when you get off the train.
Now perhaps you can see why I am afraid sleeping passengers are going to end up like this guy.
I know no one is going to spend their life on the train but they could sleep through a couple of stops.
Then they might miss an appointment, or be late for work, or have some other issue which could cause a serious amount of inconvenience. It stresses me out.
I once sat across from a woman who was so out of it I wondered if she was in a coma. I started to tense out when we got close to downtown and she wasn't waking up. There is pretty much no one on the train after the City Center stop.
I wasn't sure what train etiquette was.
Should I wake her? Would she be irritated or grateful?
Maybe she was having some sort of medical emergency.
In the end, I decided to mind my own business.
I was a little relieved when I was stepping off the train and I saw she was starting to stir.
I am a train veteran now so I don't stress quite as much as I used to.
I am better at recognizing it's a free country and my fellow passengers can sleep on the train if they like. Worrying about their stop is not my responsibility but I still have my limits.
I will wake a sleeper if someone tries to steal their bag.
But I probably won't bother them if someone tries to draw them a new mustache.

My Subway Date

I mentioned my "Subway Date" on an FB post so I thought I would blog about it.
A few years ago, after some comments from people in regard to their horror over the length of my singleness, I decided to try on-line dating. I posted a profile, got a bite, and proceeded to exchange email and phone calls with a person I will call Dan. After exchanging some phone calls with "Dan" he asked me out to dinner and a movie of my choice. Remember the wording of this offer because it will be important later. Dan was from Utah County so we decided to meet at a halfway point which we determined was VF Factory Outlet in Sandy.
I arrived at the date feeling I had kept some first date rules; I made an effort, but was not overdressed or under dressed. And I was on time. I had described my car to Dan previously.
The meeting time was 7 pm; no Dan. 7:05, no Dan. 7:10, no Dan. 7:15, no Dan. I had made arrangements to call my mom periodically during the evening to check in. I called her at 7:15 and let her know Dan had not arrived and if he did not arrive by 7:20, I was leaving.
At 7:19 pm, I see a guy walking toward my car. He looked like he had just got done mowing lawns. He had a baseball hat on backward, shorts, and a knock off polo shirt. I rolled down my window and asked him if his name was Dan. Now in retrospect, I see I should have kept my window up and just driven away....
Anyway, I asked Dan where his car was parked and offered to drive him over. He said, "We don't need to get my car. You can drive." I was so surprised I didn't know what to say so I let him get in.
Now remember, the offer was for dinner and a movie of my choice.
So I said, "Should we go to Ruby Tuesdays since it is right here in the same parking lot?"
Again, keeping the first date rule of sticking to moderation.
To which he responded, "I was thinking more like Subway."
I thought he was kidding for a good 90 seconds but when he didn't crack a smile I knew it was going to be a long night.
I am not really familiar with Sandy so I asked Dan where a Subway was and he said, "just drive around. We're bound to find one." Sure, Dan. It was my tank of gas.
We eventually did find a Subway and we went in. The sandwich artist asked me what I wanted. I proceeded to order a 6 inch turkey on wheat. I could see where things were going so I did order onions. Dan ordered himself a 6 inch sandwich as well.
I was getting ready to tell the clerk what chips and soda I wanted when he asked Dan if our order was together. When Dan replied, "I guess", I figured anything beyond the sandwich was out of the question. This was verified when Dan neglected to order a drink or chips for himself.
Dan and I sat down and choked down our sandwiches while he proceeded to tell me what was wrong with each of his sister-in-laws. I decided perhaps Dan was not a big fan of women in general.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not trying to villainize Dan. There is a slight possibility he is making some woman very happy right now.
Anyway, I suggested we go to Jordan Commons to see what movies were playing. He wanted to go to the movie theaters at South Town Mall. On the way, he mentioned he was thirsty. Really? I guess that is what happens when you order a sandwich and no drink. At least an offer to get us some water would have been nice...
We looked at the movie choices. I told him what I wanted to see. He told me he wanted to see something else. Clearly, we were going to dinner and a movie of Dan's choice.
When we went to buy our movie tickets, he asked me if I was buying his.
I told him I would get my own.
I just wanted to get the movie over with and go home to my comfortable house.
I think something happened when Dan watched me purchase my own ticket because when we sat down in the movie theater he tried to turn on the charm and snuggle up to me. Yikes.
When the movie was over we started walking to my car.
Dan proceeded to ask me what we were doing next.
I told him I was driving him to VF Factory Outlet to get his car.
He said the night was young and he wanted to hang out some more.
I told Dan I had to get up early for study group.
He started to pout.
When we pulled up to Dan's car he began telling me what I great catch I was.
I told Dan I had to go.
Dan proceeded to walk around the front of my car, open my car door, grab my hand, and pull me out. Then he started hugging me.
AWKWARD.
I gave Dan a nudge, thanked him, got in my car, locked all the doors, and drove away.
I tried to sort it out with God the whole drive home.
The next morning I got up and went to the gym. When I got home I checked my email before I went to study group to see if there were any change in plans.
Dan had already sent me an email.
It basically read, "I really like you. I know your kids will be gone again in two weeks and I would like to take you out again".
I wanted to tell him I didn't think I could afford to date him. Instead I told him I didn't think we were a good match. Both true.
When I got home from study group I discovered he had emailed me again.
This one said "Guess what? You have to see me again because I left my cell phone under the passenger seat of your car".
I fedexed the phone to him. It cost me 20 bucks.
In all the date cost me $27 plus gas. But the story is priceless.
And here is the moral of the story in my opinion. Always make an effort when you go on a date. You never know if you may decide at some point you might want a second one.