Saturday, August 25, 2012

True Love

I am about a 4 out of 10 on the mushy scale.
I can enjoy a chick flick once in awhile but I would rather watch a Bourne movie.
I am also pretty private so I hope I don't regret publishing this post....
But here it goes.
I am no expert on true love.
I have only been in love once. I have had 3 or 4 serious likes, and I gave marriage my best shot once and failed. 
But I think I still have a right to an amateur opinion.
One day my boss and I had to call a longtime customer I will call Will.
Before they got down to business, "Will" and my boss had some laughs reminiscing about some of their interactions over the years.
Will is 99 years old and sharp as a tack.
When my boss brought up Will's (still living) 102 year old wife, "Helen", Will said, "Oh Helen? We're crazy about each other".
Not what I expected.
I have no idea how long this couple has been married but I think 75 years would be a conservative guess.
75 years of marriage can breed a lot of boredom and resentment.
100 years of life can wear you out.
But Will still finds something on this earth he is crazy about. And he did say "they are crazy about each other" so he sounds pretty confident his wife is still crazy about him too.
When my son was small, I used to drive him about 10 miles down busy Redwood Road to preschool.
After I had made this trip a few times, I noticed an older man was always walking down that road with a plastic ice cream bucket swinging from his hand.
I wondered many times where he was going.
Later, I saw an article in the newspaper stating a pedestrian was hit and killed on Redwood Road. These types of accidents are always sad, but this one was particularly tragic because the deceased was a 75 year old man that walked down that road everyday to the cemetary to water to the flowers on his wife's grave.
Was this my man with the ice cream bucket? I will never know. But I do know I never saw my man walking down Redwood Road again. 
How do people stay crazy about each other after 75 years of marriage?
What compels someone to make a long walk down a busy, and somewhat dangerous, road everyday to tend a grave?
I hope you don't think I know. That is the million dollar question.
But here is what I do know.
Some of it has to be a choice.
Choosing to see the good instead of the bad.
Choosing to work together instead of against each other.
I have always thought the way you speak about your loved ones says a lot about your character. 
I don't know if I will live to be 102 or 99 or even 75.
But I do hope when I near the end of my life I am still crazy about someone and they are crazy about me. 
Because I like to think people can choose to have great relationships that withstand trials and old age.
And that is my amateur opinion on true love.


4 comments:

  1. Julie thanks for sharing. You have a talent in writing for sure! I agree that choosing to work together instead of against each other is so important. Thanks for writing this!

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  3. Jen, thanks for the nice comment and for reading my blog! Now I know you have a blog too and I can follow it.

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  4. This is such a beautiful and moving blog post. It brought tears to my eyes. I admire you so much, Julie!

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